Why I Stopped Setting Resolutions and Started Doing Check-Ins

The space between Christmas and New Year’s has always felt different to me.

Slower.
Quieter.
Full of possibilities.

But the resolutions you plan in that quiet space don’t always survive once life starts moving again. This is where my relationship with resolutions started to change.

Backstory

I’ve always loved the stretch of time between Christmas and New Year’s. When I was in school, it felt like a pause, a chance to put homework and tests on hold, even though you knew they were waiting for you on the other side. That feeling only grew once I went to college and university. Later, depending on the job I, or my husband, had it often stayed that way. Quieter. Slower. Less rushed.

Anything you did during that time felt like a bonus. No matter how small, it counted. You could rest without guilt, or you could start thinking about what you wanted next. Sometimes you could even switch back and forth without the guilt of not doing the other.

By the time January 1st came around you felt ready. Ready to go. Ready to take it on. Ready to ride the wave of resolution energy everyone else seemed to be feeling. At some point, though, that wave started to carry a different expectation.

I’m not sure if it was the resolutions themselves, if it was just me, or if it was the fact that my birthday falls one week into January when:

• everyone else is going strong
• when you can’t quit now
• when the momentum is already set
• when you feel like you shouldn't falter

After having two kids and coming back up, around 2018, I tied my focus to the 52-week sewing challenge that had just started on Facebook. During 2020, when everything slowed down, I actually finally managed to stick with it sewing the specified challenge each and every single week. But that consistency came mostly from letting go of a lot of other things that year.

Around the same time, Lindywell’s influence introduced me to the idea of grace over guilt and slow, steady progress. It started with workouts, but eventually spread including, even, to how I build my apps.

I learned that when life gets messy and habit streaks break, that doesn’t erase the progress you’ve already made. We don’t live in a Duolingo simulation where missing a day (or more... hello streak freeze) resets everything. What you’ve done still counts. You can pick things back up when you’re able.

Eventually, it clicked.

I didn’t need a better resolution.

I needed a gentler way of staying connected to myself.

The Thinking Shift: From Tracking to Checking In

For a long time, I treated change like something you either powered through or failed at.

If you were lucky, you set a goal, checked the boxes, and ended up where you wanted to go. More often, though, progress required stopping, looking at where you were, and adjusting along the way. It was less like charging forward and more like balancing. Lean too far and you overcorrect and fall.

That’s where tracking started to feel limiting for me as it tends to focus on outcomes. Did you do the thing or not. Did you stay on track. Did you keep the streak alive. When life cooperates, this can work. When it doesn’t, tracking often turns into a quiet record of everything that went wrong.

Checking in is different. Instead of measuring performance, a check-in is about noticing patterns. It creates a moment to pause and ask what actually happened during this stretch of time. Not just what you planned, but what reality allowed.

You’re not collecting data to prove anything. You’re looking for one useful insight. Something you can carry forward.

That’s why check-ins still work when nothing goes according to plan. A check-in doesn’t ask whether you succeeded. It asks where you landed, whether that felt supportive, and what might help next time. That’s the core of it:

• Orientation. Where did this period land.
• Support. Did it support how you want to live.
• One small adjustment. Not a restart, just a shift to go where you want to go.

This approach works whether you’re building a skill, changing a habit, or simply trying to stay connected during a busy season. Learning a headstand asks for something different than training for a marathon. Learning a language reshapes your time differently than picking up an instrument. The direction matters, but also how your life is actually unfolding around it matters too.

Check-ins give you a way to respond to that reality instead of fighting it.

What a Check-In Actually Looks Like

At its simplest, a check-in is just a short pause with a few questions. I come back to the same three every time:

1. Where did this last period land? Was is structured and expected? Or was it more reactive and chaotic?
2. Did it support me? No sentence. Simple yes or no.
3. One thing to carry forward or adjust. Based on how the last period was and my plans going forward what is one thing I can add or remove to make it better.

That’s it.
No scoring.
No fixing everything.
One moment of noticing.

To make this more concrete, here are a couple examples:

Meal Planning

Meals are a good example because they change so much with time and energy.

When there’s room to think and plan cooking can be genuinely fun. When the time isn’t there you’re cobbling something together quickly and later staring at the sad lettuce in the fridge thinking next time.

For a while, I tried to solve this with very detailed meal plans. Every meal mapped out. Leftovers scheduled. In theory, it looked great. But in reality, it didn’t work. I bought ingredients that only got used once. I overcooked. I ran out of freezer space. Food went bad before we had time to eat it.

Now, instead of trying to plan perfectly, I do a check-in.

How did last week land? Did meals feel supportive or stressful? What’s one thing (based on last week, fridge contents, and our upcoming schedule) that would help next week?

Sometimes that looks like buying more spinach and keeping things simple. Sometimes it’s using up something specific in the freezer. Sometimes it’s focusing on that older container of cottage cheese before it expires. Occasionally, when there’s more energy, it’s choosing one new recipe to try.

The point isn’t to create the perfect plan. It’s to respond to what actually happened.

Fitness

Fitness is another place where check-ins have been surprisingly helpful.

My general goal is simple. I want to get stronger and keep up with my kids without having to say no because my body can’t handle something. More specifically, I’d like to be able to do a handstand someday. Lately, that’s meant focusing more on calisthenics but that's the general direction and what sense to do changes week to week.

A fitness check-in for me looks like this:

Where did last week land? Did my workouts support how I wanted to feel? What’s one thing (based on how my body feels or our schedule is) to carry forward or adjust?

Sometimes the answer is switching from one app to another because there’s a challenge that sounds extra motivating. Sometimes it’s doing less because I’m tired. Sometimes it’s leaning in because I feel energized.

Alongside that, I have one simple reference point. Every few months, I come back to the same Joseph Pilates mat flow in my Lindywell membership to notice how it feels now. I’m not trying to pass it... though that would be cool. I’m just paying attention. Over time, the progress shows up.

Why This Works

What I love most about check-ins is that they work regardless of how things went.

They work if the last week or month was great and everything felt aligned. They also work if it was complete chaos and you barely remember what happened. Plus in that chaos if you skip a week or a month or whatever nothing breaks. When you come back, if it's easier, you can ignore the looking back entirely and just answer that one question that might get you going and help you for the next bit.

There isn’t a right way to do this or a perfect cadence. It’s simply a way to stay connected, even when life doesn’t cooperate.

How I Use This in Simply Remember It

I’ve realized that Simply Remember It is a good fit for this kind of check-in.

I use Simply Remember It because it lets me log without pressure, reschedule when life happens, and notice patterns over time instead of focusing on isolated weeks.

This works just as well on paper or in a notes app. Simply Remember It is just the tool I happen to use. Each check-in becomes a simple task. Sometimes that task is broad like a general fitness check-in. Other times it’s specific like revisiting a particular workout flow. I can keep it minimal, with just a name to log against, or add a little more context if it helps me remember what I’m paying attention to.

When I want a simple check-in I add a few optional measurement details:

• a scale for structured to reactive
• a simple yes or no question about support
• a short note about what to adjust the next time

When I notice a new area I want to check-in with I create a new task... then either check in right then and there or leave it for when I have a second. I know I won't remember to do it so I choose to schedule them to repeat monthly or weekly so when it pops up I simple check-in and go about my day... or reschedule it if I'm busy.

Because everything is logged in one place, I can look back at my history, notice how often something came up, and see patterns emerge without having to analyze anything in the moment.

Using This on Paper or e-Ink

Some people think better with a pen in hand and I do too depending on the season. Because of that, I turned this check-in system into a printable so it isn’t tied to a single app.

The printable shows how I structure these check-ins and includes example pages for:

• Scheduling
• Fitness
• Meal Planning
• Pace & Presence
• Creative Flow
• A Monthly Touch Base

There’s one page for each check-in. You can use all of them... or simply the ones that feel useful right now. Print the pages you want when you want them, or duplicate the pages you need on a reMarkable. Nothing is meant to be completed or finished.

Or you can try out a one page sample to see what you think.

As the new year mantras start circulating, I want to offer a quiet reminder.

You don’t need a new you.
You’re already enough.

What helps more than a reset is a way to stay connected to your life as it is. A way to notice what’s working, gently adjust what isn’t, and return to yourself when it makes sense.

Whether you’re starting fresh, picking something back up, or simply pausing, that connection is always available.

Notice.
Adjust gently.
Repeat when it makes sense.

If a gentle check-in feels useful right now, you can find the free one-page version, along with other calm printable pages, on my downloads page.

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